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Is Your Inner Monologue Defeating You?

I remember twenty years ago was when I first truly started to struggle with my identity. I was married, a young mom of two boys and I had no core identity. I was David’s wife, Zach and Alec’s mom, before that I had been Jean and John Forrest’s granddaughter. The only time I probably ever had my own identity up to that point was “oh yeah, that girl with the band.” Sigh

I was reading a lot during that time and I was steeped in a Christian faith so much of what I was reading was about finding your identity in Christ. I remember at that time I made for myself something I called an identity cross. I painted two small planks of wood and glued them together to form a cross. I then hot glued artificial flowers all over it, each flower representing something of who I was, or where I’d been in life. I hung that cross on my wall for many years and it always grounded me.

I have a ring I wear always, it’s something that, again at the time, was a commitment I made to my walk with Christ and I always called it my “princess ring” because I was a daughter of the king and over the past twenty years that I’ve worn that ring, it does indeed always remind me of the worth I feel in my soul when I remember who created me.

I will tell you today, that I still identify as a daughter of the king, because that resonates true for me. On top of that however, I am strong, confident, gifted, compassionate, intelligent, adventurous and I never give up.

Thing is, it doesn’t matter how you find your identity, what matters is that you do. What matters is how you define yourself, but here’s what I’ve found,

Transitions and Breakthroughs


There are things around us every day that claim to be the next big fix. How you’ll lose the weight this time and keep it off. How you can turn around your finances and become a millionaire practically overnight. How to improve you dating life, get better test results in school, become your own boss and even grab your fifteen minutes of fame. Maybe I won’t sound any different, but I also believe you can live the life of your dreams, I just don’t believe it’s magic or that there’s a quick fix. I think it requires reprogramming the things we tell ourselves all the time, developing new habits, and harnessing the energy of determination and discipline.

Changing a life is never easy and as I’ve discovered that not everyone is really all that interested in change if it requires any kind of pain or loss. Well I’m not promoting any magic fix for your life, but I do believe without doubt that you can have the life in your dreams. You can redesign your life into whatever you wish, but you need to accept the fact that it takes work, sacrifice and a willingness to go down roads you never saw coming. 

Fact of the matter is, when you want a new life, it requires you to leave the old one. In this instance, you cannot have your cake and eat it too. It’s most likely that there are many things built into your life right now that are detrimental, things that pull you farther and farther away from your truth and the life your heart whispers of. Therefore, creating the dream, requires that you lose things, even people, but when you tell the universe you’re ready for your destiny, the universe starts moving and one of the first things it does, is start pulling from you things that don’t serve and you weren’t supposed to have in the first place. 

Three years ago, my life imploded.

It was such a horrific event that I was nearly destroyed by it. 

I literally lay on a sofa for several weeks after this occurred, in shock. I stared up

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